[TPR] MILITARY RULES

[Mad Dog Antenucci]

Hilarious...even if you have see before....Thanks Frank for sharing.
 
Mad Dawg Antenucci 
Team Pantera Racing 
The 1st & still the only vintage race team in open road racing 
www.teampanteraracing.com




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>>>> Military    Rules  
>>>>Marine Rules: 
>>>>1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one. 
>>>>2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough. 3. Have a plan. 4. Have a 
>>>>back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work. 5. Be polite. Be 
>>>>professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. 6. Do not attend a 
>>>>gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with  a '4.' 7. Anything 
>>>>worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive. 8. 
>>>>Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal 
>>>>preferred.) 9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. 10. Flank your 
>>>>adversary when possible. Protect yours. 11. Always cheat; always win. The only 
>>>>unfair fight is the one in which you lose. 12. In ten years nobody will remember 
>>>>the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived. 
>>>>13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to 
>>>>shoot. Navy SEAL's Rules: 1. Look very cool in sunglasses. 2. Kill every living 
>>>>thing within view. 3. Adjust Speedo. 4. Check hair in mirror. US Army Rangers 
>>>>Rules: 1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving. 2. Locate 
>>>>individuals requiring killing. 3. Request permission via radio from 'Higher' to 
>>>>perform killing.  4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted. 5. Walk out 50 
>>>>miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving. US Army Rules: 1. Curse 
>>>>bitterly when receiving operational order. 2. Make sure there is extra ammo and 
>>>>extra coffee. 3. Curse bitterly. 4. Curse bitterly. 5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; 
>>>>it can get you killed. 6. Curse bitterly. US Air Force Rules:  1. Have a 
>>>>cocktail. 2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner. 3. See what's on HBO. 4. Ask 
>>>>'What is a gunfight?' 5. Request more funding from Congress with a 'killer' 
>>>>Power Point presentation. 6. Wine & dine ''key' Congressmen, invite DOD & 
>>>>defense industry executives. 7. Receive funding, set up new  command and 
>>>>assemble assets. 8. Declare the assets 'strategic' and never deploy them 
>>>>operationally. 9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time. 10. Make sure the base is as far 
>>>>as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption. US Navy 
>>>>Rules: 1. Go to Sea. 2. Drink Coffee. 3. Deploy Marines And the next... (You've 
>>>>got to love the Navy, and God bless them all.) U.S. Navy Directive 16134 ( 
>>>>Inappropriate T-Shirts                                  ) The following 
>>>>directive was issued by the commanding officer of all naval installations in the 
>>>>Middle East .(It was obviously directed at the Marines.) To: All Commands 
>>>>Subject:  Inappropriate T-Shirts Ref: ComMidEast For Inst 16134//24 K All 
>>>>commanders promulgate upon receipt. The following T-shirts are no longer to be 
>>>>worn on or off base by any military or civilian personnel serving in the Middle 
>>>>East : 1. 'Eat Pork or Die' [both English and Arabic versions] 2. 'Shrine 
>>>>Busters' [Various. Show burning minarets or bomb/artillery shells impacting 
>>>>Islamic shrines. Some with unit logos.] 3. 'Napalm, Sticks Like Crazy' [Both 
>>>>English and Arabic versions] 4. 'Goat - it isn't just for breakfast anymore.' 
>>>>[Both English and Arabic  versions] 5. 'The road to Paradise begins with me.' 
>>>>[Mostly Arabic versions, but some in English. Some show sniper scope 
>>>>cross-hairs.] 6. 'Guns don't kill people. I kill people.' [Both Arabic and 
>>>>English versions] 7. 'Pork. The other white meat.' [Arabic version] 8. 'Infidel' 
>>>>[English,  Arabic and other coalition force languages.] The above T-shirts are 
>>>>to be removed from Post Exchanges upon receipt of this directive. In addition, 
>>>>the following  signs are to be removed upon receipt of this message: 1. 'Islamic 
>>>>Religious Services Will Be Held at the Firing Range at 0800 Daily.' 2. 'Do we 
>>>>really need 'smart bombs' to drop on these dumb bastards?' All commands are 
>>>>instructed to implement sensitivity training upon receipt. 
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